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Netflix reality show-cum-docuseries Indian Matchmaking portrays the lives of seven young professionals who finally decide it is time to tie the.
These are just some of the things several South Asian women say they have been told by their families and matchmakers who have tried to arrange their marriage with a series of prospective suitors. Religion, caste, and class compatibility are often given importance within the practice. It is challenging, and likely impossible, to condense and critically evaluate how arranged marriages work across the South Asian subcontinent within the format of one article or TV show.
One of the major drawbacks of Indian Matchmaking, critics say, is that it focuses on matchmaking within the selective bubble of mostly wealthy, upper-caste North Indian Hindus, and uncritically normalizes many aspects of a deeply complex system. It has also prompted several South Asian women to share their own problematic, and at times traumatic, experiences with the process.
BuzzFeed News collected anecdotes from women who documented their experiences on social media as well as from interviews with South Asian women who shared their own stories and critiques. Her parents began setting her up with matches as soon as Gururaja returned to India in after finishing college in the US. Gururaja said she encountered several microaggressions, subtle sexism, and a lot of anti-gay prejudice during these meetings. There were also a lot of inherent assumptions that she would move wherever the man lived, she said, and her own education and career goals were constantly dismissed.
The two professional matchmakers featured on the show advise their women clients to learn to compromise on their own ambitions and dreams for the sake of a good suitor. When she told them she wanted her partner’s politics to align with her own, she said, her parents dismissed it as unimportant. When she refused to meet a match based on his biodata, her parents questioned how she could make the decision without meeting him in person.
She recalled another incident from a few years ago when her uncle approached her with a potential match. Several other South Asians on social media have criticized the show, and some have even refused to watch it.
How modern Indian matchmakers find partners for the young and the rich
Sima Aunty or Sima Tarapia, the woman with the starring role in the docu-series Indian Matchmaking, is being called the stuff of nightmares. The Netflix show is meant to be a behind-the-scenes look at how arranged matches are orchestrated. How much did Indian Matchmaking get right, what did the show get wrong, and how much did they leave out altogether?
The fundamentals, it would appear, remain largely unchanged on the surface, but the details do look different.
Matchmaker is a professional who needs to understand the clients’ preferences and choices. They collect a huge database and study them.
In ancient Greece promnestria —female matchmakers—sought out eligible youngsters and facilitated marriage negotiations between families. In some Jewish communities a shadchan , either a male or a female matchmaker, introduces singles to each other. The role is particularly important in South Asian societies, where the practice of arranged marriage dates back to at least the 4th century. Smriti Mundhra, a film-maker, has long been fascinated by the custom.
Co-directed by Ms Mundhra and Sarita Khurana, the film follows three young Indian women as they find husbands and enter into matrimony. Unlike on apps such as Tinder, relatives usually participate in creating profiles and filtering potential suitors. Meanwhile, the other two subjects view marriage as a familial obligation. As a career-driven woman in her 20s, Ritu prefers to talk about economics, her area of expertise, and shrugs off questions about her impending union.
Her clients include Aparna, a no-nonsense Indian-American lawyer searching for a partner who can fit into her busy life; and Pradhyuman, a Mumbai-based jeweller who goes through the matchmaking process to please his family but cannot find anyone to his liking. She adds that in its many modern forms, the tradition of matchmaking is not all that different from dating apps and websites. And as Ms Mundhra points out, the filters on dating apps allow users to mimic the caste system.
Read more: Marriage in India is becoming less traditional. Books, arts and culture Prospero. Reuse this content The Trust Project.
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The reason is simply this: The marriage market, which was till now thought to be exclusively under the command and control of boy log and their judgy Mummyjis, suddenly seems to have a new claimant — a certain type of women they hate, i. Women who love themselves, know their mind, and the kind of partner they seek. But while most Indian boys go to see girls with their Mummyjis and Daddyjis in tow, these girls are driving solo in their cars to check out the boys.
They meet them in restaurants where they drink, chat, laugh, order non-veg food and, after all that, reject the boys. The world of matrimonial alliances is in wide-eyed shock.
The weekend is a good time to catch up with some reading. They seek the help of Sima Taparia, a Mumbai-based matchmaker to help them in the quest for the perfect spouse. If you have watched the show, you can’t forget Aparna Shewakramani, the feisty lawyer from Houston. YouTube sensation Bhuvan Bam has 18 million subscribers and counting, which makes him one of the most popular YouTubers and comedians in the country. He just has to release one video to get social media buzzing. Filmmaker Chaitanya Tamhane has done it again.
Aisha’s Links values confidentiality and interacts with every client in a professional yet personable manner. When your preferences are clarified we immediately begin matching you up with suitable candidates — using traditional methods and trusting our professional instinct. Our clients continue dealing with their busy work schedule and personal commitments, while we take over the time-consuming partner search and vetting process.
Jasbina Ahluwalia is a matchmaker/dating coach and a radio host. She is also the founder and President of Intersections Match, a relationship coaching and online dating business for Indians. Indian Professionals)Indus Women LeadersAAPIIndia Community Center in Silicon Valley and The Indo-American Arts Council.
She is also the founder and President of Intersections Match, a relationship coaching and online dating business for Indians. Ahluwalia hosts two podcasts on Blogtalk Radio. She has also published relationship Q and A videos on her website. Jasbina Ahluwalia has written columns on relationships and dating for online forums and print publications, including YourTango,  Digital Romance,  Lavalife. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Jasbina Ahluwalia.
Chicago Tribune. Retrieved 9 June Washington Post. Entrepreneur Magazine, Inc.
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Critics accuse the show of stereotyping and commodifying women, lacking diversity and promoting a backwards vision of marriage where astrologers and meddling parents are more influential than the preferences of brides and grooms. They complain that the series, which follows matchmaker Sima Taparia as she jets between Mumbai and the U. In fact, the real problem may be their discomfort with the way marriage works in India, with social stability prized over individual happiness. A small fraction still practices child marriage, with some communities holding betrothal ceremonies as soon as a girl is born.
Thanks to online dating, finding love in India has become much easier in. Table of contents. The similarities ended there. Pritchett, a former McKinsey consultant, had started her own music label and co-founded an online apparel and accessories platform. Pratik Agarwal, an electrical engineer from India, had two startups under his belt and an internship with Airbnb. As the only Indian in the group, his arranged marriage had attracted the interest of his co-founders.
On the defensive, Agarwal pulled up a schlocky personal profile, or biodata, his father had assembled. Once an Indian reaches marriage age, his or her family can expect an inbox filled with biodata emails. Many are poorly constructed, a serious handicap for an otherwise suitable candidate. A business idea began to form: The team was running a business and going to B-school on the side. Class work may have taken a backseat, but the team says HBS has been critical to their business.
So it all started and rest is a lovely sto I My name is Harpreet singh.